Habits and Change

You know, I am the most disorganized person I know. Starting tommorow I am turning over a new leaf. No more clutter. No more clutter. No more clutter. You know why I am 27 and disorganized? I am because I have too many things that I don't need. Some cheap and worthless, some expensive(but somehow its worthless because I could care less bout it), and just stuff that I didnt rationalize and think about. I am not starting a new leaf later. I am startin a new leaf now. I have done this a million times but this time I think different about this thing. I think that I need to reall get a hold of this and actually clean out Eccentrik Queen's Kloset. Dannica Smith's Closet. I need a clean closet. Why do all I have all of these things? Do I really need all of these things? NO NO NO. God is going to help me get rid of these things so that I can find out what I want. Maybe I dont have a mand or can't mentally focus on things I need to do because I have too much clutter. I can't even see myself with anyone because I have so much to do to help myself. I have this facade and I may not mean to have it but its there. The honest truth about me always comes out if you ask me, but I really been thinking. My ex pulled out this book of all of his dreams the other day. Wow! I was impressed but I acted as if I wasn't. I did that because I was so jealous. I was so jealous because he knew exactly what he wanted, no matter how big or how small. I was also on that list. However, I don't think I should be because I don't have a list. I don't know what I want. My brain is cluttered. I can't think. I just don't know what to do. I think I do, but really I don't. I think I need to get rid of everything that I have and start all over again. I need to raise money to get main things and focus on them. I am not even going to proofread this because of all the clutter it may cause in my brain. Starting tommorow, I release myself from the bother of clutter, in hope that I get somewhere in life and know what I want. I just can't think with all of this stuff.