Power

Today I was coming out of Wal-Mart and I was talking to my invisible friend (not obvious to anyone and only God can judge me). So anyways, I was talking to him and all of a sudden I remembered being a kid. Not too long ago I said I wasn't great with imagination but now its starting to come to me that I was at what point. I was always trying to act as if I had magical powers. I mean, I remember going with my parents to the hospital on certain Sundays when my dad had to visit the sick. I would act as if I opened and closed the elevator doors. I would tell my parents that if they give me one second, that I will gather my powers to open the doors for them. How cute, huh? I would look at the numbers moving down to the floor that we were on and then I will do my abracadabra-ish gibberish. I did this at the mall, I did this anywhere they had automatic doors. I used my powers. I know that it wasn't realistic at the time, but as an adult believing is half the battle when you want doors to open for you. I have been shutting doors on myself. I open and shut them based on my unbelief and faith of what God can do for me. When my faith is the strongest is when it seems to be tested the most, but how I handle it is what gives me the ultimate power. I had power to do all the things that I wanted to do and I still have that same power. Now, it's all about applying it to my life. How about you?

Patience

Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn't until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.--- Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, May 17th, 2003

I saw this today and realized how true it was. I am so, so pushy but I never relax and try to make what I am saying make sense. It always comes out in some language that doesn't get to the other person. Then the person becomes resistant because I am pushing the issue. It depends though. If its about me not getting what I want, I am straight up pushy and struggle to be on point. However, if it is in general or some concept, and/or work-related. I am calm. Sometimes I even calmly walk away and give up when I see no resistance. I have found that to work more than anything. I get a chance for the person to think about it and come back to me with their reasoning adjusted.

Picture This!

As a child I always thought that playing with my imagination was silly. I wanted to have the actual cake there, but when we were playing imagination games I remember taking part in the activity and not truly indulging. Now that I am developing the list of things that I want to transform a better quality of life, I imagine. I think the the reason why I couldn't get into imagining objects and situations was because I like experiences. I don't think that the childhood imagination moderators actually went into the actual experience, but focused on people, places and things. I imagine things that I would like to experience or have experienced. I love experiences more than the things that I can physically touch. It is so funny how I rather hand out pennies for items to buy, but would pay however much it costs for an experience that I desire. I picture everything in my mind and I always feel the joy of what imagine the experience would be like. I guess that is just another eccentric part of me.

The Mind Is A......

Someone at some point in this lifetime said that, "The mind is a terrible thing to waste." Then I heard a whole bunch of people say it that never told me who originally said it. Well, most people speak this quote to explain learning and not letting the mind have idol moments in which it ceases to expand. I personally have recently looked at the quote in a different way. I say that it can also refer to not wasting your thoughts on the negative, the bad, the worst. I have always been very negative growing up. I use to be the butt of many jokes and while my peers were having fun I was more focused on my shortcomings that they called me out on. For a long time I always dwelled on those things and it kept me from forgiving, it kept me from being confident, and it kept me from being happy. I grew up from those issues but then I started a trend of beating myself up for so many things and thinking that my ideas, hopes, and dreams, were idiotic. I have struggled with changing the habit of negativity and now I am focusing on positivity. It has been hard to change the trend but now that I see more and more results and answers, I feel so much better and I am willing to work on so much more. If you want to do it, don't defeat yourself before you even start. Negative thoughts can easily lock you into an idol state. Use your mind to steer your world into what makes you happy.

In Your Wildest Dreams

They say "in your wildest dreams", but I have had so many ideas and aspirations that I couldn't get any sleep. My mind ran so hard on me last night that I was wondering why I couldn't get these thoughts out in the daytime. I mean, if I explained to you what happened when I turned the lights out and attempted to get some rest, you would think my mind went into some kind of temporary ADD ( you know that hyper disorder) mode. Have you ever had a bunch of caffeine and then laid down and heard your heart beating extremely fast? This was how my brain was going and so I had to get up and entertain my thoughts. You can't just let wild thoughts hang out in thin air. You have to snatch them up and either manipulate them or use them as they are. If I would have let all those wild thoughts run around in my mind without addressing them, they would wonder out and go to someone that would appreciate them. It's a competitive world out there and I am not into letting something go that I honestly know that I can have. Nope, not me. Not even in my wildest dreams.