Sophia, Sophia...where art thou?

So back when I was small and in the back of my parent's Cadillac or Lincoln Towncar. I think they had both of those cars when I was little and I hated one of them with a passion. Anyways, I remember always talking about an invisible friend named Sophia. I use to do it for my entertainment and then once my parents played along with me I felt more inclined to keep Sophia alive to keep them entertained as well. I was entertaining myself watching them amazed at how I would react to a person that really didn't exist. I was hoping for them to wonder if I really saw someone but as I got older, Sophia kind of sucked. I would forget about her and close her in the door and my parents would bring her up from time to time long after the lifeless, stubborn, rude, and invisible friend was dead to me. Sophia was the type of friend that kept me company and who I had to talk to when my mother told me to sit back and be quiet. The backseat was huge and I had to find someone to share it with and talk to. Sophia was my escape to say something when there was nothing else to be said or no one would listen. I recently thought of her and felt like looking her name up to see what she meant. I never knew or met anyone named Sophia. My dad use to ask me where I got the name from and I had no idea. However, the fact that her memory comes to me, it makes me wonder. Sophia means "wisdom" in Greek and has the theological concept of having "wisdom of God". I find this so important because my father and I discussed life application according to the Bible a few weeks ago. I told my dad what I really wanted and felt I needed in my life. I am not getting any younger.

I don't tell my dad much but he is one that embraces God's wisdom and may not be living in my world, but can identify what my world may be like through what he has learned in his studies. He really talked to me about the Bible and what I need to be doing and that although the instructions of the Bible may be ancient and seem not to apply in this changing world, it is still beyond relevant. I don't have any resolutions going into 2011. However, I know that in order for my future groom to find me, I need to get something inside of me that a virtuous woman needs and that's my invisible friend "Sophia". The one thing that I knew was there but no one could see. I need the "wisdom of God" and his armor to shield me. All these other things that I desire will come me, but I need to make sure that I prove myself to the man that sees the God in me. I thank God for the memory of "Sophia". The invisible childhood friend has given me and adult moment of clarity.

Ecclesiastes 2

I read Ecclesiastes 2 this morning and I am a fan of the King James Version, but I had to have it translated to me in other ways. Technology is so great in this sense. I don't have to buy the different variations of the Bible because it is all online. I didn't understand any of it at first and I guess it was a great thing that I read the whole passage. I would have crushed my dreams of moving toward success if I would have taken a different action. The beginning talked about how the writer worked hard and gained everything he wanted in life, including knowledge and money. However, he had a negative view of it all, calling it "vexation of spirit". I read on and at the end he spoke that he realized that all of this is possible through God and that if he (God) is truly happy with you, he will give it you. Yet, if he isn't he will make sure its not something that you are blessed with or take from you all that you have gained. I wonder how that feels? I wonder how do you know if God is truly happy with what you do? What is enough? Is that something that you can put a cap on? Did I read this correctly? That is what is on my mind today.....Is God happy with me? Is my relationship good enough? Of course he has been nothing but good to me, but is he happy enough with me to give me the strength to take my life to the level that I want to move to?

It's What I Do

I am so tired of politics in the United States that I will save my money and move somewhere that I can have peace. With all of the prophesies manifesting, I don't know where that will be. I just know that I am destined for greatness. I know because everything keeps coming back to me and I am in a season of discontent. I am mad at everything and I am looking for solutions to the things that I can change because I don't want my future to offer the same thing that the present time is. My present time is full of blessing but I think that I can perform beyond what God has blessed me with already. I feel as if I can do so much more and I have done so much to take action in my life lately and I am starting to see that I need to work harder than I ever have before. There is no such thing as smooth sailing in life and I have to get over that. I was put in this world and I didn't make it. Many of us have the misconception that having time and money freedom is evil. Some of us think that the rich are lazy. To accomplish greatnesss, it takes a firm belief in God (or whatever some of them believe in), a firm belief that God gave them the power to take control of their lives, consistency, great habits, and a burning desire. Which one of these do you have? Which one of these do I lack? I have to focus on the part of these things that hold me back. It may be the inconsistency or it may be the moments when I feel like I am better off giving up on my hopes and dreams. From the day I was born, I have been here for a purpose. God put me here to accomplish something and I have to be honest with myself about what God has done for me. I never fit in and it was something that bothered me for so long. Now, I see that I don't havet fit in and that I don't care about fitting in. I care about being who I was destined to be. Sorry, I am not proofreading right now....this is a simple spill. So sorry for the bad grammar and misspelled words.

Kay Arthur's Lord, Teach Me to Pray in 28 Days Part 2

Day 2 of this book mentioned the powerful prayer of Elijah that stopped rain for 3 and a half years. It described him as an ordinary man. Which mentally, its not hard to be an ordinary man and pray, but once it said he prayed and got the rain to stop for over 3 years it seemed impossible to reach for someone like me.

The next thing mentioned was how Jesus told a story of how if you went into midnight asking a friend for three loaves because you didn't have any for someone visiting you. The friend would mentally say no, because they are sleeping and its late. Their action would be to give you all that you need because you were persistant enough to get it. I think Jesus use this illustration and explained asking in persistance, because it shows how we react to his works. Finding what you seek, asking and receiving. Some things we don't receive because we don't ask or we don't believe. Do we really want what we are asking for? I really understand this but the questions i have come with, does this really work? Isn't it God's will that matters, even if we ask? It's ultimately God's decision. So how does this ask and receive work if it's not his will? I am working hard to lean not to my own understanding. So I will keep this question in mind and as I learn to pray, I think God will give me the answer. I know that it is in his will for me to learn.

Power

Today I was coming out of Wal-Mart and I was talking to my invisible friend (not obvious to anyone and only God can judge me). So anyways, I was talking to him and all of a sudden I remembered being a kid. Not too long ago I said I wasn't great with imagination but now its starting to come to me that I was at what point. I was always trying to act as if I had magical powers. I mean, I remember going with my parents to the hospital on certain Sundays when my dad had to visit the sick. I would act as if I opened and closed the elevator doors. I would tell my parents that if they give me one second, that I will gather my powers to open the doors for them. How cute, huh? I would look at the numbers moving down to the floor that we were on and then I will do my abracadabra-ish gibberish. I did this at the mall, I did this anywhere they had automatic doors. I used my powers. I know that it wasn't realistic at the time, but as an adult believing is half the battle when you want doors to open for you. I have been shutting doors on myself. I open and shut them based on my unbelief and faith of what God can do for me. When my faith is the strongest is when it seems to be tested the most, but how I handle it is what gives me the ultimate power. I had power to do all the things that I wanted to do and I still have that same power. Now, it's all about applying it to my life. How about you?